


how galaxies collide

by imposterhuman



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: But mostly fluff, Carol Needs a Hug, F/F, Fluff, Girls in Love, Touch-Starved, a little bit of angst because its me, maria rambeau is a good bro, protective maria rambeau, soft Carol Danvers, soft maria rambeau, touch starved carol danvers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21627106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: Maria didn’t notice it at first, the way Carol stiffened at every touch. She’d go almost impossibly still under Maria’s hand, or when Monica latched onto her like an octopus. Even when Goose brushed Carol with her tail, Carol reacted the same way.There was a split second between the touch and Maria drawing away where Carol looked absolutely trapped, like a cornered animal. There was confusion, too, and something that looked like fear. Maria only had to see it once to stop her casual touches altogether.
Relationships: Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau
Comments: 12
Kudos: 186





	how galaxies collide

**Author's Note:**

> for anon on tumblr who wanted touch-starved carolmaria
> 
> title from the sanober khan quote: "your hand touching mine. this is how galaxies collide."
> 
> enjoy!!

Maria didn’t notice it at first, the way Carol stiffened at every touch. She’d go almost impossibly still under Maria’s hand, or when Monica latched onto her like an octopus. Even when Goose brushed Carol with her tail, Carol reacted the same way.

There was a split second between the touch and Maria drawing away where Carol looked absolutely trapped, like a cornered animal. There was confusion, too, and something that looked like fear. Maria only had to see it once to stop her casual touches altogether. It sucked, because the Carol of before was one of the most tactile people she’d ever met, but Maria knew that Carol’s years in space changed her in ways Maria would never understand. All she could do was try. 

So Maria kept her hands to herself, even when all she wanted to do was run a hand through her old lover’s hair, hold her hand, just touch her to reassure herself that Carol was still real. If it was what Carol needed, she’d never touch her again. 

Weirdly, though, Carol didn’t look any happier, any less haunted. The shadows under her eyes deepened, the periods of stillness lengthened, and it was harder than ever to put a smile on her face. Sure, the blonde put on a good show, but Maria could have written the book on Carol Danvers. There was no denying that there was something wrong. 

It came to a head one night, with Carol sitting on the porch swing, staring up at the sky. The moonlight was unforgiving, casting her face in harsh planes that softened when she saw Maria step outside, carrying a blanket and two cups of hot chocolate. 

Maria sat down gently, leaving a foot of space between herself and Carol. She passed one of the mugs over, careful to make sure their fingers didn’t touch, and placed the blanket between them in case Carol wanted it. 

Carol flashed her a wan smile and accepted the cup gratefully. She was always a sucker for Maria’s famous hot chocolate, whether or not she fully remembered it. Maria watched her catalog the space between them and go back to looking at the stars.

“Do you miss it?” Maria asked quietly. “Being up there in space?”

Carol didn’t look at her. “Sometimes,” she admitted, just as softly. “I miss the view, mostly. It’s gorgeous up there.” She turned to Maria. “But nothing beats the company down here.”

“Monica will be happy to know she’s cooler than literal aliens,” Maria chuckled fondly. “And I’ll admit, it’s a bit of an ego boost for me, too.”

“Don’t pretend like you didn’t already know,” Carol teased with a smile that was so like her old self that Maria’s heart twinged painfully in her chest. “Space may be pretty, but you two are my home. And nothing could be better than that.”

It took a conscious effort to not reach for Carol’s hand and link their pinkies like they used to, but Maria managed. “Well,” she said hoarsely, overcome with emotion. “You’re my home, too, Danvers.”

Maria didn’t notice how close they’d gotten until Carol’s lips were brushing her own. She leaned into it for a moment, the taste familiar and new at the same time. But it was  _ Carol _ , her soulmate, her lover, her best friend, and Maria lost herself in her first kiss in six years. As soon as she remembered herself, she flinched away as if burned.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped, putting herself a careful foot away again. “I-”

“Too far?” Carol smiled, but there was no humor in it. “It’s fine, Maria. My fault, really. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

Maria wrinkled her nose in confusion. “No,  _ I  _ pushed  _ you _ ,” she said miserably. “I know you don’t like being touched, and I forgot. I’m sorry, Carol.”

“Wait, what?” Carol looked as lost as Maria felt. “Why wouldn’t I like being touched?”

“I don’t know!” Maria threw up her hands. “But you always looked terrified when someone touches you, and you lock up, and I didn’t want to hurt you, so I just… stopped touching.”

“Maria,” said Carol, voice soft. “Maria, Maria. I’m not afraid, I’m not hurt.” She shrugged. “I’m just not used to it. The Kree aren’t a tactile people, so my only touching for the last six years has been in battles.”

Realization was dawning on Maria, so when Carol reached out again, there was only a second of hesitation before Maria grabbed her hand. Carol stiffened, but she didn’t let go, and it took only a few seconds before she practically melted into the touch. The foot of space was abandoned as Carol collapsed onto Maria’s lap, soaking up the closeness. One of Maria’s hands wound its way into Carol’s hair, stroking gently, while the other was still held in a death grip by the other woman. 

“So, you don’t mind?” Maria asked, reveling in the intimacy like it was the last time she’d ever have it. It had been a long time for her, too. At least she’d had Monica; Carol had had no one. “You’re fine with the touching?”

“Of course I’m fine with it,” Carol breathed, pushing up on one arm so their noses were almost touching. “It’s you, Maria. You could never hurt me.”

This time, when she leaned in for a kiss, Maria didn’t pull away. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos make me happy :))
> 
> yell at me on tumblr [@imposter-human](https://imposter-human.tumblr.com/)


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